weary hope

i do feel as though i accomplished something today. was it enough? probably not. i'm currently drenched with the feeling that it will never be enough. that each small offering is exactly that. a small offering. fairly insignificant. practically unnoticeable. and no matter how many of those i attempt, or even succeed with... they will be too few and too far between to stack into something sizable enough to truly be considered "successful". to truly be appreciated. noticed. accepted with any gratitude. each little step is simply working towards some unknown and unseen goal that, through lack of definition, can never be attained. after each step, at the end of each mile, it will still not be enough. but for today, i will rest knowing that i've at least left a footprint. and i'm pretty sure it was pointing in the right direction.

e-mail schme-mail

so i've spent the past two evenings trading in posting for e-mail writing. tonight that turned into e-mail trouble shooting. turns out the address i have through my domain - yeah, it doesn't work so much. so somewhere in the vast expanse of e-mail land lay unread & unretrievable e-mail messages sent to becca@bluehighlights.com. dandy, really. especially considering that everything on this site (and my old xanga site) was linked to that address. so i changed it all. and if you've sent me an e-mail that i haven't responded to, chances are i'll never get that e-mail. please be kind & resend it to: bluehighlights@sbcglobal.net - i promise to reply.

friday ...

tomorrow night is thunder over louisville, and i'm a bit sad to not be attending this year. despite all of the chaos involved, last year was grand. from strolling through cherokee to learning about glow-in-the-dark things at the science museum to trolling about the river front for a place to sit... yeah, i would gladly do it all again. well, maybe not *all* again - this time i would totally avoid that chicken-on-a-stick thing. ugh.

today's boxful of happiness included ticklepenny corner (7 years bad luck), patty griffin (1000 kisses), miranda stone (7 deadly sins), f/stop (last day of fall), and kate york's ep. the last two were last-minute "bonus items", wherein "bonus item" is defined as being someing discounted that they offer you in the middle of the check-out process because they know that certain impulsive buyers like me will say "sure! i'd love to have an extra two cd's... and it's only another $12? that's great!" it's like having the candy in the check-out lane at the grocery store. some people just can't keep their hands off.

currently playing patty griffin. (or at least i was until my computer locked up for the *second time* while writing this post.)

this weekend's plans include working on a scarf made out of that fluffy, hairy yarn. (yes... it's spring time, and 'becca is making a scarf.) perhaps finishing the links on this page. getting some stuff done for work. (who said "weekend" means i don't have to work?) and maybe searching out & tweaking a good quilt pattern for a black & white quilt i want to make. i just think that would be so stunning, a black & white quilt.

and writing e-mails. i will write e-mails this weekend. :)

g'morning wednesday

i'm against sleeping tonight. or, rather, i'm against not sleeping. if that can make any sense. so instead of sleeping, i bring you this random list of random thoughts.

pastemusic.com will soon be sending me a box full of happiness. (a boxful?) i felt a bit required to buy at least one cd from them, seeing as i listen to their mp3s on a daily basis. so i grabbed the one i knew i wanted, and 4 cds later i was checking out. do 5 cds constitute a box full? a boxful?

the buttons at the bottom still don't work. sorry about that. well, one of them does, and that's something. like i told greg, i think i put off finishing this because then i'll just have to find some other project on which to procrastinate.

i did have every intention of posting a 'top ten tuesday' post - but blogger thought it wise to freeze my machine during the process. so i thought it wise to not retype it. i can give you just as much randomness without the list format. :)

i had to come back and edit this post to fix a couple of widows. yes, because i'm that much of a nerd.

half and half

so now two of the links at the bottom work. all the blog archives are working *and* you can get to my links page. the content there will need to be updated, but for now i'm just shooting for functional. the other two pages (details & shots) will take some thought. perhaps this weekend.

good news for the day - my paste music order was shipped today.

other good news - yesterday is dead and over. yes, i'm quoting music again, but it's a truth that really hit me on my way home this evening. i can say all i want about looking to the future, but i am a creature easily drawn to living in the past. i often cultivate my regrets - keeping them fresh and new in my mind. reminding myself of the ways i've failed and the wrong choices i've made. to what gain? learning from the past is one thing. reliving it is quite another.

spring flowers

it seems each year i forget how much i love spring flowers, especially tulips. starting their day in quiet beauty, petals closed. then opening wider and bolder as the sun reaches the blooms. as if opening themselves to drink in every last ray of sunshine. there's deep symbolisms to be had there, but i won't wear them out by spelling them out. you're smart kids.

work in progress

the month of a thousand photographs has ended, successfully. i shot a total of 1039 photographs in the past 30 days. not counting today - today i took no photographs at all, and it just seemed wrong.

so here's the new site. i think. :) unfortunately, what you see is what you get - the links at the bottom don't work yet. but here is a link to the month of a thousand photographs page. and here is a link to my old site. for now, that's all i can offer. enjoy!

well, i can also offer you this link, which i strongly recommend you visit if you enjoyed the movie napoleon dynamite. "WHEREAS, Napoleon's tetherball dexterity emphasizes the importance of physical education in Idaho public schools"...

and stay tuned... hopefully i can get this overhaul done quickly. :)