finding words

do you ever search all the words of your vocabulary... and the entire time, you know that you won't find the words you need?

i know this fellow. i could make it a long story, but suffice to say i know this fellow in the casual, internet chat room kind of way. [yes, for those of you who have met me in recent years... i used to be quite the chatter. there you have it. you would've found something to think less of me for eventually, anyways. :)] he & i have talked, laughed and prayed together. i know a few things about him, he knows a few things about me. and i've been ever thankful for the blessing his online presence was in my life. [newsflash number two... chat rooms can be good things. places where the saints commune and challenge each other, pray and praise together.] anyhow, he nows posts irregularly to a xanga site, which i've stumbled upon in recent months. i'm not good with the whole "hey, remember me?" line of conversation, so i've never opened that up. but i've skulked about the site, gleaning prayer requests to bring to our Father on his behalf.

this wasn't meant to be a history-of-'becca-post... i know that he's hurting right now. i know that because he said so. but i don't know why, necessarily. and in that not knowing, i can't find the words to say emphatically enough that i'm praying for him. as if the words "i'm praying for you" don't hold the meaning i want to convey. there should be some sort of grammatical modifier that nullifies any idea of those being practiced words said out of mechanical response. something to underline the desire to carry his pain in prayer to Him who hears our every cry, every whimper. to Him who heals the heart that He created, that He knows, that He alone can care for.

when the words "i'm praying for you" can mean so much... why do i look for something better?